Chamberlyn's T1 Diabetes D-Day (Diagnosis Day) was October 19, 2010. I decided to start writing her story almost nine months later because managing her diabetes is what our family does best. We have our "highs" and "lows" when dealing with this confounding autoimmune disease, and I hope our posts can provide some insight on the daily life of a person with T1 diabetes.
If there's anything this family does well, it's multitasking all types of stress. AND we do it on purpose! So, we got her supplies for school ready, and not just her classroom supplies, either. Her diabetes supplies included: extra syringes, insulin, alcohol wipes, lancets, lancet device, ketone strips, meter, and food to the new nurse, substitute forms for every teacher, and lock-down boxes for every teacher. Our table looked like we were packing for a hurricane for awhile.
I stressed about her first day until I finally decided to email the Assistant Principal about my concerns. They were more than willing to allow Cham and I to walk her schedule to each class and have a short conversation with each teacher about the sub sheet and lockdown box the Friday before she started school. Every teacher we met was patient and spoke to Cham about letting them know if she needed to leave to go test her BG. I relaxed a bit after that, and once she started on Monday, she relaxed. She tests between bells and tries to beat it back to class. Her numbers were super high the first couple of days...but as we all know - stress causes high BG.
So yes - we settle into the week and then oh yeah, we have to go to pump training so that she can put it on. That's right...the first week of school. UGH! I knew we would get it in August and not July when I really wanted to watch her and get used to it!!! So we started it last night - her numbers were nice at midnight and 2 (because Lantus was still in her system and we ran the program at -50%). Once the program started running during the school day today, our world was rocked. I felt like I was herding cats. We couldn't keep her numbers up - she stayed in the 60's most of the day and I think the nurse said she gave her about 6 bars. I don't think she'll eat a bar for awhile! Once we called the Animas nurse, she said what we were thinking - reduce the basal rate. So far, so good. Her dinner number was good and I will test her again before bed, and probably at 2 just to be safe. Of course, today was school picture day so she had to look cute, so did her pump. Here she is with a pump flower from Hanky Pancreas. We've bought every bell and whistle to deck this pump out. We even have some Groovy Patches on the way. She loves the freedom so far and so do I - I poked her because I had to and I didn't realize how much I hated doing it until our first bolus last night.
If only that was a real bumper sticker. Cham wouldn't let me tote it if it were. She hates when I have to ask for the nutritional guide at restaurants. Draws attention to it and just reminds her that we can't just go out for a meal without using math..tee hee. On to the reason behind this post.
I've seen this commercial about 20 times this summer while the kids are watching TV. I watched the mothers in the commercial watch their children intently as they trained and thought about how I do the same thing with Cham and Colton when they are performing or playing. It wasn't until I read the D-Mom blog that I realized I wasn't the only d-mom who watched that commercial differently than a mom who is simply proud when her children succeed. Don't get me wrong, I wax poetic when my kids do well. But.....when I watch Cham dance, not only is it the most beautiful thing on the planet, it's the rawest form of bravery I have ever been forced to face. I stick, poke, and draw blood from that child all day long and all she concerns herself with is perfecting a combination or memorizing choreography. She is extremely resilient and has been since d-day. I thank God that Cham's studio's teachers understand and continue to learn about diabetes. I can drop her off at dance and know that I am only 5 minutes away if I need to get to her. They know her symptoms and text me immediately. But, there are times like last week at a dance intensive with new teachers and choreographers, that I had to endure sitting for 7 hours as she danced because I can't trust they'll know what to do if something goes wrong. I envy the mothers in this commercial as they drop their kids at practice and leave without the same worries as a d-mom has to face every damn day. So, thank you D-Mom, Leighann, I'm glad you posted "Thank you, Mom." It was like taking the thoughts right out of my head!
HOW GOD SELECTS THE MOTHER OF A CHILD WITH DIABETES
by Erma Bombeck
Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with diabetes are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew.”
“Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint Cecilia.”
“Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”
Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a child with diabetes.” The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”
“Exactly”, smiles God. “Could I give a child with diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”
“But has she the patience?” asks the angel.
“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she’ll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I am going to give her has her own world. She has to make it live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”
“But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”
God smiles. “No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”
The angel gasps. “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”
God nods. “If she cannot separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than perfect.”
“She does not realize it yet, but she is to be envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see…ignorance, cruelty, prejudice…and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side.”
“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”
~By Erma Bombeck
So, I will end with that tonight. Am I frustrated? YES. Am I scared to death? Yes...all the time. Do I shout at the Heavens and ask with a dramatic gesture, "WHY MY CHILD?" Absolutely NOT. I know why. Cham was put on this planet for one simple reason. To beat diabetes. It is quite simply her destiny to take diabetes by the syringes and dance with it. It's what she does best.
